cross out the things you’ve done
Graduated high school. Kissed someone. Collected something really stupid. Smoked a cigarette.Rode every ride at an amusement park. Gone to a rock concert. Helped someone. Gone fishing.Watched four movies in one night. Gone long periods of time without sleep. Lied to someone.Snorted cocaine. Failed a class. Smoked weed.Dealt drugs. Been in a car accident.Been in a tornado. Been to a funeral. Burned yourself .Ran a marathon. Cried yourself to sleep. Spent over $200 in one day. Flown on a plane.Cheated on someone. Been cheated on. Written a 10 page letter. Gone skiing. Been sailing. Have a best friend. Lost someone you loved.Shoplifted something. Been to jail. Dangerously close to being in jail. Skipped school. Had detention. Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.Stolen books from the library. Gone to a different country.Dropped out of school. Watched the “Harry Potter” movies.Had an online diary. Had a yard sale.Had a lemonade stand. Actually made money at the lemonade stand. Been in a school play.Been fired from a job. Swam with dolphins. Taken a lie detector test. Voted for someone on a reality TV show. Written poetry. Read more than 20 books a year. Gone to Europe. Loved someone you shouldn’t have. Used a coloring book over age 12. Had surgery.Had stitches. Taken a taxi. Seen the Washington Monument. Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.Overdosed. Been in a fist fight. Gone surfing in California. Had a hamster/guinea pig. Pet a wild animal. Used a credit card. Did “spirit day” at school. Dyed your hair. Got a tattoo. Got straight A’s. Been on the Honor Roll.Know someone with HIV or AIDS. Made out with someone. Played on a sports team.Snuck out of the house. Swore at a teacher. Gone laser tagging. Had a romantic relationship. Been on the TV. French braided.Skinny-dipped. Driven a car. Performed in front of an audience.Gone bungee-jumping. Been to Mexico. Crashed a car. Sky dived. Been kissed in the rain. Made an 11:11 wish. Drank alcohol.Forwarded a chain letter. Made a mistake.
Stephen Colbert gave Jimmy the lowdown on his dinner with the FLOTUS.
Doctor Who is so painful because its about love, and loss, and hurt, and change, and you constantly feel like you’re being stabbed in the hearts. But the worst part is
He’s just mad because he can’t acquire all the apple juice that I’m acquiring. (x)
1. Girls Shalt Not Have Sex.
(someone asked me what the guy word for ‘slut’ is
and I couldn’t find an answer.
it’s an old story: a rumour goes around that so-and-so
blew a boy in the disabled toilets.
the girl fakes a cough to get herself sent home
to escape the classroom-wide hiss of ‘slut’
while the boy she blew walks into the same class
and is greeted by an onslaught of high-fives)
2. Girls Shalt Love Boys.
(when I was ten, there was a movie trailer where two girls
leaned in for a kiss, and I felt sick for the rest of the day.
it took four years
along with faux-casual questions to friends
useless quizzes on the internet
entries in a diary that I later scribbled out
to admit, fine, okay, yes,
and another year after that to say it without mumbling)
3. Girls Shalt Not Be Bitches.
(it took over ten years of school for me to realize
my women teachers got called bitches
for doing things that my male teachers got called efficient for.
we were assigned to a group project in science class
and whenever my friend tried to tell the others to quiet down
so they could get on with the work,
she was jeered into silence
and she never found it fair that her boyfriend did
the same thing and the noise stopped.)
4. Girls Shalt Have A Vagina.
(she introduced herself with a deep voice and a gushing smile.
she had a pink dress and an adam’s apple
she had a necklace resting above her cleavage
she had escaped from an all-boys high school
and I didn’t understand until I learned later
gender is more than the two rigid boxes
that we are told to tick one of)
5. Girls Shalt Smile.
(he frowned when the subject was brought up
and he shrugged a lot as he explained
that we look better when we smile. Less hostile.
His shrugs stiffened when I asked him why we shouldn’t look hostile.
‘I dunno,’ he said, dropping to a mumble. ‘Girls aren’t s’posed to look hostile, I guess.’
The next time someone walked past me on the street
and told me to smile,
I gave him my sunniest grin
and a middle finger.)
-‘Five Commandments for Being A Girl I Unlearned,’ theappleppielifestyle. (via theprophetchuckshurley)